i encourage spaceboy to be Roger from Rent.
i had this interesting thought the other day.
because my sister and i would think of ourselves as the character we were most like from rent.
i was mark, the film maker, lonely and searching for somewhere to belong.
“they say mark has got his work. mark lives for his work and mark’s in love with his work. Mark hides in his work. from facing your failure, facing your loneliness, facing the fact you live a lie… you’re always preaching not to be numb when that’s how you thrive, you pretend to create and observe when you really detach from feeling alive.”
micci was Roger, the song writter, secluded from relationships for fear of being hurt or being hurtful.
“love’s not a three way street, you’ll never share real love until you love yourself. i should know.”
jasmine was Mimi, the lost child, trying to get away from home, trying to cover up her own pain by going out and having fun in ways that were not always so healthy…
“i’m nineteen, but i’m old for my age. im just born to be bad!”
and all was well with the world. but this was when we first saw the musical. over five years ago. we rented Rent from the movie store on main street.
now, however many years later, our personalities have changed. i still share a few attributes with mark, yes. im still the film maker. i still see more beauty in everyday accidents than i do in things that are posed or planned.
but im no longer alone. i dont have to crave a perfect community, because i have a community. and though my friends can be obnoxiousness and hurtful, i’ve realized in the past few days that we need each other more than i thought. and it’s not just people running to me for advice (not that i mind that role in the slightest). i can ask them for advice. or i can look at them and learn.
and thats what i find facinating.
i’ve gone from mark to mimi.
micci’s gone from roger to mark.
jasmine’s gone from mimi to angel.
and it’s not a bad thing.
self-reflection and whatnot.
i know i’ve changed. and i know i cant sing her parts, but that i fit her description more now than i used to.
and this doesnt mean micci doesnt share attributes with roger and such. but im just saying that maybe it’s time for us to think of ourselves in a new light.
of course, my ultimate goal?
to become collins.